Monday 19 May 2008

Day 6 - Some Progress?

Had a day off today and mooched around town. I keep thinking I have to do something, usually work, but have to remind myself that I am allowed to sit in bed all day if I want to ...... it is my time. I had a acupuncture appointment in the morning and then went to the university Library to get some books about the counselling course. Thought while I am really interested, I ought to channel my energy into it. Bedtime reading tonight will be THE NO-NONSENSE GUIDE TO SEXUAL DIVERSITY by Vanessa Baird. I'm not sure if hubby looks excited or worried about what I may read about!

Did well pack wise until about 4pm when became really hungry. I should of had a pack, but I was out without anymore so I found myself in Tesco Express. I wanted some tea, but looked at the sandwiches, sushi, chicken salads. I eventually settled on grilled chicken, bag of salad, holumi and a box of Lady Grey. I am pleased to report I convinced myself that it was not a good idea to buy a muffin/cookie and went home to make a nice salad with the ingredients. Brill.

I then collected the girls and kept picking at the holumi. A friend came round and husband offered biscuits. I had x4 and then picked holumi and biscuits each time I walked about. I have just finished a healthy salad, roast squash and a grilled pork chop. I am pleased with the meal, but feel I am on the hunt for more food. You are right Lesley, bending the rules came make things more difficult even if in the dim and distant past what I have eaten today would of been a good day.

A Positive Change -
I looked through some of my old notes and the route to management book I used last year when food is introduced. I read a section about lapses and reasons we give to excuse eating. One of mine was I hated waste. I would hoover up left overs and either eat there and then or put in fridge and eat throughout the evening. If we had a takeaway I would serve the food out and make sure I had more and of course I could not waste any of that too. I have realised that this behaviour has really settled down and I no longer do this. Yes I still hate waste (a message from my mother who had to be careful due to war time rations and not having much spare cash) so I either cook what is needed to prevent waste in first place, or if appropriate save a portion for a mini meal the next day ...... the bit that works for me is knowing I can have it or somebody will eat it so it won't go to waste. I also noticed that I no longer break out in a cold sweat if there is food left over, not worth saving when my children and hubby throw it in the bin. Most of the time I can walk past the kids plates and not take anything. I even throw food a away myself.

AM I CURED?

Seriously, it may not be much to somebody else, but this issue alone is one I have battled with for years and needs to be acknowledged. Yes I still have a way to go, but am getting better.

I hope I am not kidding myself on this front and wonder MRS if you thought I had changed for the better or worse in your comment yesterday? I took it as a positive.

I am really tired now, so going to go to be and make a start on my reading.

Samxx

1 comment:

Mrs said...

DEFINITELY take it as a positive!!

Keep going! Keep writing!

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxxxxxx