Day ? Happy Birthday Me!

Sorry folks for being away. I have Been fine, just writing in my journal at bedtime as too tired to start logging on here knowing I would then read everybody else BLOG too.

It's my Birthday today and had a really lovely day. David and the girls made me a vanilla coffee (firstly without the coffee!) and brought me my cards and pressies in bed. They bought me some lovely lightweight stripy pink PJ's which I will not be embarrassed to answer the door in, a crispy new Kitchen, Bedroom and Bathrooms magazine and Gok's book (How To Look Good Naked). When I got downstairs was also a huge exotic bouquet of flowers too. Inspired gifts just what I wanted. To be honest has some really lovely well thought out pressies from family and friends.

Later in the morning Olivia and I went to town under the guise of returning a few things and came back with six bags worth!!!!!!!! At some point I hope I will stop shopping, although it's better than eating. I like my bargains as you know and found most items in the sale, including a new work bag as my dated briefcase snapped after almost two years wear. I did not realise how dated I was using it as it seems most people just have large bags. It's large enough to get papers in but I have also decided I no longer need to carry the heavy crap I used to so will scale down.

Spent a fortune on matching underwear in my smaller size from good old M & S, and a few more holiday staples.

Later in the afternoon two friends, their partners and children came round and I prepared a great buffet spread. I prepared lots of it last night to save time and did a selection of adult treats and child friendly party food. I eventually had a vegetable pack more so I could have a sit down with them, rather than being hungry. Last night and today did not feel tempted to eat although I thought on my Birthday would give myself a meal off. I am happily back in my NOT AN OPTION mindset and just want to get the job done now.

Lessons Learned Today -

1. Although I over catered, I did think about not trying to produce too much waste.
2. I made sure David (next two days lunch!) & guests went home with pack up for school/work the next day to minimise waste.
3. Realising still food left and knowing nobody else will eat certain things, have made up a large parcel for David to take to work for work colleagues to tomorrow. I still hate waste after all! LOL
4. Realised that pre-LL I would of picked and ate my way through making the buffet, laying out today and through the evening until I felt uncomfortable. My mentality WAS, I just can't leave it! Anything still left would be stored in the fridge for the next few days as I would refuse to throw anything away. Looking at it with the benefit of hindsight, I allowed myself to be a dustbin.
5. Happily No Alcohol.
6.While packing the food away, I have found myself saying to the girls one minute do you want anymore of something when in reality they would get it themselves as been doing all afternoon. Then on the opposite side of the coin said to Olivia when it was clear she had had enough, I can save some for you for another day or depending on what the food item is Mummy could make that for you another day, you don't have to eat it now. I think the second options are much better and the last thing I want is to put my food issues on them.
7. Following on from that I think I finally I understand that in this day and age as a family we are lucky enough to not have the food run out!!!!! If I am full but loved the flavour of something I could 1.STOP, 2. Make it another day or Visit the restaurant another time. 3. I do not need to eat whatever it is until I can't breath in fear I would never taste such a thing again.

Now I am unsure what I will do when I can eat again and not on management as that's where the hard work starts, but I am determined to be aware of my eating. I will cross that bridge then and try and remember days like this when I have been so happy and in control.

A very positive day it has to be said and unlike the smoked salmon trigger, I will not be putting my face in the fridge!!!!!

I am off upstairs to look at my purchases and clear some space off the bed so David can eventually get in it too. Also need to log that David has been and continues to be such a star and I hope I can prove to him how much I really appreciate him and love him for all of his support.