Can you believe I have eaten?
In summary, get on the scales this morning and worked out lost about 7lbs since started on Wednesday. Brill, feel trim, clothes bit baggy, even enjoying trying on clothes at home.
Get through some challenging situations/thoughts and when I arrive home at approx 5.30pm with the girls ........ I allow myself to dream about some little white cobs I bought for them.
I eventually give in to:
- 4 slices of toast, marmalade and cheese;
- 5 mini cobs, more cheese, marg and raw onion
and now I sit here wondering whether to have a glass of Rose as it's sat open in the fridge. Plus forgot to mention I have roasted a butternut squash with red onion (luckily healthy with no fat) which even though my tum feels bloated, I am sure will eat some later.
The thing is I had this strong urge to eat (not sure why at minute) and could of got the girls dinner on the go and logged on. Instead I allowed myself to fail. Why? Last time I lost 9lbs in 4/5 days back in February I think. Had a great LL group session, then went home and convinced myself due to the weight loss I could eat something. Hence fell of the wagon and took until now to actually do two and a half solid days.
I now feel like crap, don't feel positive about life/me and just feel like a failure.
However I think no matter what I do/eat, I must keep the BLOG going. As I began to eat I told myself I didn't have to log on and tell you what I had done, but what use is that to me. I need to be honest with myself, and when I look at the above carb fest I realise that it was excessive. who eats 9 bread products in less than an hour?
Dread the scales Saturday morning. At least when you do LL and follow the rules you are guaranteed to have a loss most days if not all. I will do my stats from day one Saturday to show you the damage I have caused.
Bye for now, time to put the girls in bed who keep pushing for more and more playtime before bed!
Sam xx
2 comments:
Do not feel bad!!! It is not the end of the world. You are not doing a pass/fail test. You are learning and dropping lbs, that is all!!
That said.....step away from the carbs. Stop, think, if you are desperate to eat, have something you don't much like and a very small amount of it. Staying in control is a better feeling than eating....it really is.
((((big hug))))))
Now put it behind you and move on...don't let one slip derail you.
Lesley xx
I was going to leave a slightly different comment and then Lesley's made me rethink. She is absolutely right - this is NOT a pass/fail test. Not at all. But we are, habitually, all or nothing people so it's either perfect abstinence or out of control carb fests. Believe me that carb intake is...not SOOOO bad (compared with others)...as in, I bet there are many of us who can identify with that. What the carbs do to your system, however, is a whole other matter. Ditch the carbs if you want to succeed at abstinence.
My LLC would say...it's an opportunity for some great learning! And she is 100% right. As you are reading, try to see what you can find on the wheel of change stuff. I will too and post it for you.
Anyway...when you asked, slightly in an alarmed way, it seemed, "can you believe I ate?", I wanted to say, yes, I can. Not because YOU have done wrong but simply because it's hard not to.
Looking from the outside, I would say that you have identified a massive trigger - when you do well, you reward yourself...with food. And you are hardwired that way. A good result at a session? Reward yourself with a food treat!
My one word of caution in all of this is to get you to check with yourself whether abstinence is right for you, right now. I did five days straight and then boom! But, it just wasn't the right time. It doesn't mean it will NEVER be the right time...maybe just not now?
Sending you a big hug and thanks for lovely message.
Mrs Lxxxxxxxx
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